If You Have Faith the Size of a Mustard Factory

Recognize the quote? Jesus said, "If you have faith the size of a mustard factory, you can say to this mountain, 'Be moved,' and poof! It's gone."

That's how the quote goes, right? Oh! Mustard seed. My mistake.

What if the Bible read the way we think? Has anyone taken on the task of creating a Bible translation/paraphrase called The Reality Bible: Truth twisted to match our thought patterns?

"Be not conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your gym membership."

"In all your ways, acknowledge your personal trainer, and he shall direct your paths."

"Take up your yoga mat daily..."

"The love of money is the root of all evil, but infatuation with it will take you places."

"If someone strikes you on the cheek, turn the other cheek, take a deep breath, and then flatten him with a right hook. If that doesn't work, sue."

"If we confess our sins, we can pretty much guarantee they'll show up in the tabloids. Or on The View."

"Therefore to him who knoweth to do good and doeth it not, to him it is most likely related to poor parenting on his mother's part. Or an absentee father. Or a weak educational system. Or genetics."

Interesting factoid about truth. We're not supposed to change it. It's supposed to change us.

If I created a tongue-in-cheek Reality Bible, I might find a publisher to take on the project. Some segments of our population would snatch up a "Bible" that thinks like a human.

I for one am grateful the project doesn't exist on anyone's drawing board. I'll stick with the Truth that transforms me.