Legitimate Reasons to Quit Writing

Legitimate Reasons to Quit Writing


1. Finding it difficult to convert to a totally cashless society, the world opts for wordlessness.
2. Your violent allergy to computer keyboards can no longer be controlled by medication.
3. Your target magazine editor announces they’ve changed policies. Rather than paying you by the word, you pay them.
4. You gave up “imagination” for Lent and now find you can’t get it back.
5. Your critique group claims the last chapter you wrote is the finest ever written…by anyone…at any time in history…so there’s no real point continuing. Perfection can’t be duplicated and anything less is, well, unacceptable.
6. Coma. Unless it’s temporary, in which case you will eventually have all the more to write about.
7. Vow of finger silence.
8. New York Times Best Seller’s list compilers complain that your name appears too often, discouraging other writers. They ask politely that you refrain from writing another hit until someone else has a chance at the number one spot.
9. Blister on “enter” key pinkie finger that develops into a systemic infection which eventually throws your febrile body into a coma. See Reason #6.
10. God says, “Writer? No, no, child. You misunderstood. I said I wanted you to be a rider, as in jockey. Jockey for Jesus. You didn’t get the memo?”