Sunday, October 07, 2007

Legitimate Reasons to Quit Writing

Legitimate Reasons to Quit Writing

1. Finding it difficult to convert to a totally cashless society, the world opts for wordlessness.
2. Your violent allergy to computer keyboards can no longer be controlled by medication.
3. Your target magazine editor announces they’ve changed policies. Rather than paying you by the word, you pay them.
4. You gave up “imagination” for Lent and now find you can’t get it back.
5. Your critique group claims the last chapter you wrote is the finest ever written…by anyone…at any time in history…so there’s no real point continuing. Perfection can’t be duplicated and anything less is, well, unacceptable.
6. Coma. Unless it’s temporary, in which case you will eventually have all the more to write about.
7. Vow of finger silence.
8. New York Times Best Seller’s list compilers complain that your name appears too often, discouraging other writers. They ask politely that you refrain from writing another hit until someone else has a chance at the number one spot.
9. Blister on “enter” key pinkie finger that develops into a systemic infection which eventually throws your febrile body into a coma. See Reason #6.
10. God says, “Writer? No, no, child. You misunderstood. I said I wanted you to be a rider, as in jockey. Jockey for Jesus. You didn’t get the memo?”


Heather Cox said...

Oh Cindy, very cute! I think my pinky hurts too much to write more though!

Sharon Lavy said...

I just stumbbled onto your blogg. You have such a neat "voice". Your little posts are uplifting. I've hit the suscribe to this feed button.

God bless.

Heather Cox said...

Cindy - Do you ever participate in memes? You might enjoy this writing prompt at Christian Women Online. Here's the url:
Check it out - I really enjoy participating.

Mary Pierce said...

"Jockey for Jesus"? TOO TOO funny! Love your posts! Mary Pierce

Patricia said...

LOL!!! I am so relieved that I don't qualify to quit writing. Loved the last line.

Happy Writing

Georgiana said...

LOL! I love it--Jockey for Jesus! But I'd really love it if I had the NYT bestseller problem.

Peg Brantley said...

Too funny! You keep on writing, girlfriend. Keep landing on those "best of" lists. Gives us all something to aspire to.

Can a coma be self-induced?


Crystal Laine Miller said...

That is no joke! I was told by the NYT to quit writing(#8) and changing my pen name to avoid it! It is just outrageous. Alas, it is a dark, stormy night...

I'll say it again--you are a hoot, Cynthia,and need to be writing articles somewhere, if you are not.

Your TOTWs on our ACFW listserve are entertaining and provocative. Love it.