Wednesday, January 31, 2007

In Praise of Cereal Killers (the title, not the people)

I’m enamored with words. Most writers confess the same addiction, a habit for which there is no known cure. Therapy won’t help. Therapy uses words. And there you go.

Because I will soon have the privilege of presenting a workshop on creating tongue-pleasing (and editor-pleasing) titles, I’ve been thinking a lot lately about words, their use and misuse.

Can’t you just imagine the popularity of a new detective series called “Cereal Killers and the Women Who Love Them”? Wouldn’t you pick up a book titled “How to Find and Keep Inner Peas”?

Or how about these bestseller contenders?

A Canal Called Root

Fingers in the Fanblades

High Per Activity

Sunset Over the Water Treatment Plant

Mantelpeace—a book about war between a decorating minimalist and a collector married to each another

Beau Tox—obvious, isn’t it?...toxic romance?

It Takes a Pillage—an historical account of barbarians from the beginning of time

Three Coins Under the Couch Cushions

Sorry, all you authors who tripped on the internet threshold and landed on my blog. I’m afraid these are spoken for. I’m already working on synopses and the first three chapters for these soon-to-be-snatched up projects!